Post-promos!

Okay, my low-carb diet hasn’t gone through many changes from the last post and its right now, it’s more like 30% carbs, 70% – the rest. At least, that’s what i hope hoho. I decided there wasn’t a need to go REALLY low carb because i figured out that was for people who really needed to lose weight or had a screwed up metabolism or diabetes. I’m already pretty lean so i really don’t need to be so anal about the diet, so for convenience’s sake, i eat about one carb meal everyday, most of the time breakfast if i’m at home, and probably lunch if i’m outside.

I haven’t been doing much sport so i don’t know if my body has fully switched to a fat-burning metabolism. I assume it has, because the carbs i eat are insufficient to provide for my daily energy needs, so my body ought to have already began burning fat for energy already. I haven’t experienced any incredible or significant changes in energy or health except that i’ve become leaner. The “warming up” of my body that i mentioned previously has passed.

It’s still a bit weird eating the fat of animal meat especially after having been conditioned for so long that fat was bad. My mom even though she read the low-carb articles i sent her, is still uncomfortable with eating fat. She peels off the skin and when i grab them, she goes “zhe!” and discourages me from eating so much. “All things in moderation” is what she says, but then i reply with a “ya, smoking a bit is good for your health”

Oh yes and i think i didn’t mention a single thing about promos in my blog. Aha, promos aren’t like promos for me. I don’t feel any stress or anxiety i feel about studying. There’s this conditioned sense of urgency to study more but it isn’t very strong and instinctively know its a conditioned emotion, something that occurs because of past experiences and right now, it can’t control me anymore. My subject combination is probably the freest- history, econs, lit, math h1 and a lot of it is ingrained in my head already so i don’t have to do too much revision. The only difference from promos period and a normal month is that i spend on average, 1-2 hours studying and revising when normally, i don’t spend any time.

Post-promos is an interesting period because that’s when our conditioned activity has stopped. Schooling is something that society conditions us to do, not necessarily something that we’d want to do given the time. Without this compulsory, conditioned activity, i think a lot of people will flounder here and there and look for something to fill up their free time; games, outings, jobs. If they don’t have anything to fill up their time, they will become extremely bored and become frustrated.

In fact, right after my last paper, the next day there was no need to do anything. Ahaha, i had nothing i needed to do. Actually, there was a lot of stuff i could learn, hypnosis, nlp, all of that but i didn’t feel like doing them. At the same time, i didn’t like to be doing nothing. In the end, i went on and off the com, fiddling with games but not really enjoying them. I wanted to do something “meaningful”, but i didn’t feel like doing the things i could think of.

I remembered The Power of Now which said that boredom is the mind being unable to be still. Yep. i’m unable to be at peace with inactivity. So, post-promos, i’m going to stay present and be at peace with my boredom. For so many years, i’ve been conditioned to think that “doing nothing” is a waste of time and i feel really uncomfortable when i’m not doing anything for a while. Even the idea of meditation is seen as “practising spirituality”; seen as a sort of doing rather than being.